top of page

Why We Dream Of Heaven and Manifest Hell


I’ve talked a little about manifesting in my Temple of The Soul blog and how we create and manifest the world around us. Since manifesting is actually done on a deeper level, we often don’t realize what we manifest or why it is manifested. We already know that like attracts like, but this often done after the energy has been programmed to begin with. Though many people talk about keeping thoughts pure, it’s rarely about the actual thoughts itself, since thoughts are fleeting, it’s more about the intention behind those thoughts, emotions and actions.
Since we are both light and dark, almost everything we manifest will reflect what is going on inside. This past week I was able to see it, literally, side by side. A family member came up on Wednesday Night to stay for the weekend. She is older and lost her second husband about a year and a half ago. Before he passed away, he was in the hospital for about 3 weeks fighting an infection. Since she had power of attorney, she made the medical decisions for him. She finally made the decision to have them unhook all of his devices and let him go. Things were extremely difficult for her since and though family and friends tried to help her out as much as possible, her world became darker and darker. She became angry, jealous, and sometimes just straight up mean. She did take some time off and stayed with us, but her home became her world. Like a tomb, but she refused to leave. Then things started manifesting physically and she started having major problem after problem with her home and her vehicles. Animals chewing up the wiring, water lines bursting and flooding out rooms, heating and cooling systems failing. She would come up to stay with us for periods of time and everything would start to go to hell here to. People were arguing, depressed, no energy, and there is always a heaviness in the home. And then we would also start having major problems with the septic and other appliances in the home. We would start getting a lot of shadow activity. This last visit she came up late Wednesday night.
My friend that I haven’t seen in 20 years came up on Thursday. We figured since everyone was coming up, we would celebrate Thanksgiving on that Thursday. We had been talking quite a bit before she came about spiritual things. She lost her way spiritually and has a lot of resentment towards God, and with a recent break-up, she was at a crossroads. She wanted that connection back with God but couldn’t obtain it because she still blamed him for her losing her baby several years back. For most of the day, we talked about how things were when her spiritual journey first began and when things changed. The God she loved and trusted at the beginning of her journey was replaced by a God that was about anger and wrath. She realized that God never changed, but her view on him did, and therefore created a “straw man” to take her anger out on. This realization allowed to look at the God she worshipped with clearer eyes and realized that the God she hated was actually a manifestation of her own anger and pain. This opened her up to continue the rest of her trip for others to come in and help guide her further down her path. This was the positive side of manifesting. Though she had anger and a spiritual block, her desire was to actually find her way again. This desire is what pushed her to take this trip and allowed her to be open enough to be able to see the truth in the matter and allowed her make positive changes in the direction she wanted to go. Though it will be a long journey for her, this was the beginning of something life changing for her. We all ate and the day was very peaceful and enjoyable. Later that evening, she left. In this case, since she true desire was for truth and acceptance of her God, this is what manifested. She left that evening.
The next day, when we woke up, we started to feel the heaviness. It wasn’t horrible, but it did feel “off”. My husband went to work and I spent some time with the family member. We talked about things for awhile and she seemed sincere about what she was saying, since there has been a distance between us for some time, she wanted to clear the air. So we talked and things seemed to go alright. When my husband came home, she was tired and spent most of the evening in her room. We were strangely tired as well, so we settled in for the evening. Saturday came and all hell broke loose. When we woke up, the energy was very low and heavy and we were very irritable. After he left for work, I tried cleansing, but nothing would work… which is usually what happens when she comes. I got online and was drawn to a live broadcast for a reading. My phone kept acting up and would stop streaming. I tried 3 times of getting offline and then getting back on and it would just act up. I figured it was my internet until I was trying to text my husband and the text either wouldn’t go through or it would just suddenly switch to a different contact, like something was blocking it. Finally fed up, I switched to my laptop. I went back to the broadcast and requested my reading. She picked up on my name immediately, but when it came time for her to do the reading, she got overloaded with so much energy that she couldn’t read it. She said it was like trying to read 5 books all at once. To much chaotic energy and nothing making sense. She finally gave me some random undetailed message about how everything would be ok and quickly moved on to the next person. I could tell she was freaked and just left the show so it wouldn’t disrupt anything else. A couple of hours later, we went shopping and our car was broken into. They didn’t really take much, but I did have my husband’s medication in the vehicle since the lock on our closet door suddenly broke the day prior, I couldn’t secure it so I placed it in the trunk and buried it. The front part of the vehicle wasn’t broken into, just the trunk and other then a few other small items, they took every pill. So we had to go through the ordeal of police reports, ect. Nobody would give him anything until he could see his doctor on Monday. Things started getting thrown across the room, more shadows, more irritation. The gas knob moved and was dumping gas into our house. I swear, it felt like something was trying to kill us! Come to find out, something was!
She finally left on Monday and we had to make our day trip to go see the doctor and get his prescription reordered. We followed her most of the way back to her house and at one point it turned into a huge argument. Things just finally got to a head and after our little outbursts, it must have released something because we both looked at each other and started laughing. We made our separate ways from her and things started getting better, but we were exhausted!!
Tuesday came and while my husband was at work, I spent some time meditating. It felt like a hurricane swept through here and once again I was sitting here trying cleaning up the mess of the aftermath. I told my Angel’s, I don’t understand this, it literally feels like we are trapped in hell everytime she comes up. She’s planning on coming up next month and then selling her house and moving in with us in January, but we can’t keep doing this!!! I can’t protect my family from this, and I don’t even know why my protections and cleansing don’t work! They ALWAYS work unless she is here. And then they showed me.
This isn’t some random supernatural assault on her and our family, this is her world. This is the world she has created for herself when he died, the world she now lives in and all these things are ALL a physical manifestation of her world…hell. Ok, she is manifesting hell and whoever is around also becomes a part of that world when she is around. Great! I got the big picture, but it doesn’t answer the question, why? Why is she creating this world? It’s obvious that she doesn’t want to live in this world and she comes to us to escape this world. But she can’t escape it because it goes wherever she goes. And it goes where she goes because she continues to create it. So after sifting through our conversations, I realized the trigger, it’s guilt. Something inside of her can’t live with the decision she made about making the choice to let him. She is a hospice nurse and so on a medical stand point, she understands this process and these choices. I know that when it becomes personal when it’s you walking in those shoes, but there is more to it. She has justified her decision in her head but in her heart, she’s punishing herself. She can’t live with herself for the decision she made, not because she had to make the decision, but there is something deeper that she is trying to escape from that concerned her intentions or reasons or something that went against everything she felt was right within. Does it mean that she made the right or wrong decision ethically? I don’t know nor does it matter what we think or feel, it only matter’s how she views it because she is the one punishing herself for this choice. Until she can come to terms with not only the decision she made but the reasons behind it, she will continue to create this hell world. She uses what the doctor said to justify her actions and people telling her she did what was right, but she can’t escape her truth within. The only way she can try to live with her decision is by trying to convince herself that everyone agrees, she did the right thing, in her head, but the core of her soul say’s “BS! “ and is requiring her to face a truth she is not wanting to face for whatever reason. But this won’t stop until she can come head to head with this, take responsibility or whatever she needs to do to resolve and find peace within herself about this situation. But her denial will only prolong this process and her hell world she has created will only continue to get darker and darker. If it’s not resolved before death, it will most likely follow her in the after life. I have seen this a lot working with lost and tortured souls.
I see this denial with A LOT with the living. They want to manifest these great things physically and then wonders why the heaven they dream of manifests into hell. Denial is a HUGE block! Since this law is based on taking the deeper parts of the soul, manifesting isn’t about getting what you want, it’s about creating outwardly what is already within. Since it is so hard for people to figure out the deeper parts of the soul, this process of manifesting is like a mirror, we don’t have to guess, we just have to look at our little world that we live in and see it in physical form. Now, it doesn’t mean everything bad is a manifestation because we are bad people, but it does allow us to reflect on patterns or similar patterns that seem to travel with us. Why does this always happen? Why does everything start good and then suddenly turn into a trainwreck? I don’t know, but chances are the soul is showing you something by manifesting in physical so you can see it better.
Some of these people may be able to aquire great wealth. Sure they may manifest a bunch of material things, BUT this is also a reflection of within. They may not be showing a happy life, but showing themselves and the people around them what is actually the most important thing to that person, money. But if you look at what they had to do or sacrificed for it, is it really worth it?
When your in denial about the truth within, that truth will manifest. You can force your brain to think whatever you want it to, but that’s not what will manifest. What you get is the desire, the fears, or even the intentions deeper within that manifest. You can make a decision and justify it however you want, but if it doesn’t sit right within the core of your being, your soul is going to force you to come face to face with the truth of that. And it may be painful. But this is how learn. This is how we grow. This is how we figure out where our ethical and moral boundaries are and to decide what crosses the line for ourselves. Nobody, not even God can tell us where this is.
With our family member, even though many people saw no fault in what she did, her souls is screaming because she did something concerning that decision that crossed whatever line or boundary that she placed within and now is manifesting physically. This decision doesn't sit right within her soul. It could be because she is a nurse and so she has been programmed to heal so making the decision to end a person's life, no matter how humane it may be, may go against every fiber in her being. We many view her as a saint, but within her own soul, she may feel like a killer. This manifestation reflects the self-torture and punishment she is doing to herself. If you’re constantly having a certain train wreck in your life, this will not change by changing your affirmation or becoming more positive, because your not being honest with yourself, your soul simply isn't buying it. It will only change when you dig deeper, figure out the problem, and come face to face with your own inner truth and resolve it. It may be something that can’t be undone, but it can be changed by owning it, and making choices or changing things so you can look at yourself in the mirror when you wake up in the morning. When you are are honest with yourself only then can these positive changes actually be made. Yes, we are given the ability to create and manifest in physical form to build this planet, but the main purpose is to build that heaven in a place that will never fade away…within.
In these two scenarios, both women manifested something. For the first woman, she manifested a path to God and healing because she was able to see and accept the truth of what was blocking her path. Her soul lifted this block and now she is able to continue her journey with a renewed sense of faith and healing. She faced it, took ownership of it, she accepted the truth in it, and allowed herself to heal from it and move on. Her world now has a light and a sense of hope that she never had before. Her world literally changed in 5 days. The second woman hasn’t done this yet. She can’t accept her inner truth because it may reveal something she doesn’t want to see and accept within herself. So her state of denial does literally nothing for her because what is being manifested is the mirror reflection of what her mind is trying to run from. Even though she desires peace, this small part of her being consumes her and becomes everything. Her life is hell and will continue to become hell until she can face the truth within and about herself that she doesn’t want to accept. She will continue to torture herself until the truth is exposed and she can resolve this matter.
And this is why so many people feel that they fail at manifesting. You’re not failing, you are manifesting exactly what is within your soul. Manifesting physically is merely a tool to help us see and understand ourselves on that deeper level, both light and dark side. It is meant to help you grow, to see the things we try to hide or deny or even get a clearer understanding of what exactly it is we desire and what work we need to do in order to gain the TRUE desire. Just as our physical world changes, so does the world we create. It changes as we change and what we manifest will also change according to those changes within.

bottom of page