When you walk the path of the soul, be very careful what you ask for because you will probably get it. Looking hindsight, I realized that most everything I asked for, i have gotten, but it was never easy. For a few months now, I have asked for the knowledge of who my "twin flame" is. I have asked for strength and unwavering faith. One that I had a long time ago, for some reason it seemed easier back then,lol, though the situation is so much more difficult then it is now. My panic attacks have gone from steadily growing to over the edge, this last week has been hell. And all I've really done is pray for God to take them away. The panic attacks strip every bit of life from me. Trying to grasp some bit of hope. I soon realized that I can't control everything. The things I want to control such as how long I'll live ect, is simply out of my control. During my darkest moments some things happened, my husband was there for me, with me and supported me. His compassion and patience, he's my Angel and I realized how much I truly did love him. I realized how much I really do love life and I learned a very valuable lesson, appreciation. I saw my family in a different life and the things around me that seemed had a lot of importance, I was actually able to see the importance in that. But it's the littlest things, the simple things, my family, my health, my faith, my sanity, time, these are things that mean the most to me. These are the only real things that matter. I never realized how much I enjoyed laughter until that laughter was taken away. I never realized how close my family and I were until I was paralyzed from enjoying them. I never realized how deep my love was for my husband until I felt that I would loose him. I never realized how close God really was until I couldn't feel him anymore and he held me in my darkest hour. I never really appreciated my gifts until I lost them. Though the anxiety still runs through me, I'm learning again to lower the threshold by simply holding onto faith. I felt I lost everything, but faith is pushing me through the fear. I'm being shown how little tomorrow does mean, because tomorrow may not come, but I have today, so what am I going to do with it? I don't want to be paralyzed in fear about tomorrow, I want to embrace every moment i have now. I'm just now appreciating it, and I'm beginning to see that the big picture isn't so important, it's the little picture, the picture of my life and the people within it, that is all that matter's. It's not a contest of how many souls I can help, it's not about how famous a person can be, or what a fancy house they live in. It's not even about "finding your life purpose" it's about letting go and embracing the moment. What am I going to do with today? How will I make the most of today? How many time can I laugh? How can I show my appreciation to those around me, to God, to life? It's not about yesterday for yesterday is gone, nor is it about tomorrow, for tomorrow may never come, it's about today, it's about right now. Does this mean we should not have goals? of course not, it's visions of these that keep us going, but it's where we place the priority of these future things compared to the know. I often spent more time in the future and the past, that i never saw or even appreciated the moment of now. It's the present that makes the future and the past. What we do with the now, is what sets the presidence for both. Because of this, we don't need to worry about the past or the future, because what we do with today sets the course. When we live in today in joy and peace and happiness, this is what will set the course for everything else. And when we enjoy the simplicities of life, when we embrace the now, we live the life that we were meant to have. If life is a gift, then it should be revered as such. We can't control many things, but we can appreciate and show the appreciation to things that do matter the most. So what is the REAL secret of life? Simply living it!