I often sit and think about life, the beauty, the pain, the smiles, and the tears. I used to seek happiness for the pain in my heart was so great, but now that I have some measure of happiness, I have discovered that true happiness is not get rid of the pain, but to embrace it. To embrace everything, to embrace it all. I have spent a lifetime running from pain, yet have drowned in it and somewhere along the line, I learned that pain is not the opposite of happiness, it's part of what creates it.

I have climbed the steps of heaven just to dive off of it into the depths of hell. I have found heaven in that hell. I have found life among the dead. I have found the greatest of love through anger and fear. I never knew how fragile the soul until I saw how hard my heart had truly become. You don't ever realize how warm and bright the sun is until you have been without it.

Sometimes I wonder if people realize how precious life truly is. Has anyone every seen a beautiful tear? Has anyone truly let go of their heart enough to find out how deep love can truly go? We often look to those who have alot of money to inspire us to and show us how to live life to fullest, but the man who has the greatest understanding of how to live life is the man and woman who have nothing. They truly understand the worth of a dollar. They understand the simple things in life for it is all they have.I have never been closer to my husband and kids until I lived in a motel with them for 14 months. I never knew Christmas until that year and we had hardly anything, yet it was the best Christmas ever because we shared it looking for starfish and hermit crabs in the tide-pools on Monterey Bay. We had no money for 5 star dining, but we had something better, Panda Express and ocean front dining, for free.

If you truly want the love of Romeo and Juliet, allow yourself the risk of getting your heart stomped to the ground. If you want to live life to the fullest wipe the tears from a dying child. If you want to find your life purpose, spend a year loosing yourself. If you want to find happiness, embrace the pain you have endured.